Exactly one month ago we celebrated our one year marriage anniversary.  Most would correctly note that this is just the beginning of our lives together, and while one year of marriage isn’t considered the biggest of feats, it’s so much more to us considering our decades long history of countless moments that got us to this point so far.

We met when we were 9 years old.  Oleg was the new kid at school, nervous and hyper aware of everything about his first day of school, which is why he remembers our meeting clearly- I have no recollection of this day and am retelling this the way he has told me this story before.  He walked into class and looked around for where to sit.  Seeing that he was new, I pointed to the desk where his unfamiliar name tag was and said, “I think you’re sitting there.”  I laugh about this memory of his because it’s so me.  I was a loud and forward kid that liked to tell other kids what to do and it makes sense that I did this, though I’d like to think I was also just being nice to the new kid.  I was the first person to talk to him at his new school and he said he always remembered that, but it certainly was not at all a love at first sight type of thing.

Our friendship naturally turned into more.  We went to prom together, had the best summer before I left Moroto district for college, and we gave it our best for a 1.5 year long distance relationship before we ended it.  Though it was one of the worst things I’ve gone through, we agreed it was best to put our grown-up pants on and give each other the space to grow, separately.

A couple years later our high school friends planned a reunion trip in Kampala.  Knowing we’d both be there, Oleg called me to catch up for the first time since our breakup.  That call was a pivotal moment because it was so clear that nothing had changed between us.  We talked for an hour and those stupid butterflies were back in my stomach.  When we saw each other in Kampala, it confirmed that we were still in love, and that same year he moved to Jinja so we could give this another try.

After years of him finding his footing in Jinja, then sharing our first home together for 5 years before getting engaged, then getting married, and now we’re one year in on this new adventure, I’ve been thinking about what it is that continues to keep us together.  A lot of it can’t be explained, that conviction that I know he’s my person because I just know, but a lot of it can be explained by all those cliche pillars used to describe successful relationships— they really are true.

On our anniversary we talked about those things, what it is we love and appreciate about each other, and the things we do to keep those butterflies around.  We easily agreed that most of all, it’s the little things.  The little things are huge.  Daily acts of kindness, expressions of love, and our ability to laugh about anything and everything to the point of tears make us confident and excited about the rest of our lives together